A Gift Well Received
by Gingeraffealene
Summary: Merlin hasn't seemed to really appreciate any of the gifts Arthur's given him in the past. Guinevere suggests Arthur try doing something Merlin really would appreciate, no matter how much it pains Arthur. Happy Yule! Have a Hug!


A Gift Well Received

The merrily crackling fire had deteriorated almost to embers but the royal bedchambers remained somewhat warm. The king sat at his desk perusing paperwork and the queen sat before the fire's glow, needle flying skilfully across a bit of silk.

"It's a wonderful thing you've done for the servants this year, Arthur."

The king's eyes remained focused on the document before him but he smiled as he responded, "They've all more than earned it, Guinevere. You've been so good to help me understand how much the servants contribute to my own welfare and to the kingdom. I'm only too glad to have a way to show my appreciation even though it isn't enough."

"An unexpected gold coin in the pocket is quite a gift, Arthur. It will bring a lot of relief and joy to them and their families this Yule."

"I'm glad." He finally looked over at his lovely wife sitting before the flickering embers. "Are you feeling chilled? Can I get you a blanket?"

She smiled gently at his care. "I'm just fine. Merlin will be here soon with more wood."

"That idiot should have been here long ago. I wonder what's holding him up this time."

"Arthur, you know it's icy and slick out there right now. Be patient."

"It could be warm and dry with a straight path between here and the wood pile and he'd still take as long," he scoffed. "He's probably stopped off for hot drinks and gossip in the kitchens. Hopefully he'll remember the wood and show up sometime before midnight."

"You know very well that Merlin puts no one's needs before yours. Especially not his own. You know how hard he works for you."

"Maybe sometimes," Arthur returned grudgingly. Yes, he did know it but that didn't mean he had to admit it.

Guinevere smiled, understanding her husband's inability to express appreciation, let alone fondness, for his friend.

"You're doing something special for Merlin besides a gold coin for Yule, aren't you?"

"I don't see why I should," he responded flippantly.

"Don't be silly. You know he's your best friend."

"He's the most _annoying_, you mean. I've given him gifts, Guinevere, but he never appreciates them. I tried giving him a shirt, but I swear he seems to prefer the raggedy look because the first time I saw it on him it was already torn! Will he buy new blankets or bedroll with that coin? No. He'll be sending it home to his mother even though we already sent her extra supplies to see her well through the winter. I tried to give him a dagger to defend himself on patrol. He used it to cut carrots for the stew and dropped it when bandits showed up!" He threw up his hands in frustration. "I've no idea what would make him happy."

"He'd probably be quite happy just to receive an embrace and some sincere good wishes."

The king snorted. "An embrace. Right. Why can't he be more like the knights! Why can't I just slug him in the shoulder and be done with it?"

"Arthur. He's different from you. He understands you and trusts you and yes, he believes in your friendship, but he needs to _see _it so his understanding isn't just based on faith. As simple as it is, I believe a hug would give him that."

"Guinevere, a hug is not simple, and besides, I already did. He knows. I gave him a hug once."

"You did?"

"Yes. It was a spur of the moment thing. You remember when he went missing, back when we were ambushed by bandits. He was injured and we were separated. After everyone gave up on finding him I rode out with Gwaine and found him, remember? I was so glad to see him, I ran up and hugged him even though he looked and smelled like a bog monster."

"Arthur…"

"He knows that I.."

"Arthur."

"What?"

"He doesn't know. He doesn't remember."

"What?"

"He doesn't remember."

"Why? How do you know?"

"He.. he wasn't himself at the time. Remember how strangely he was behaving afterward?"

Arthur smiled gently. "Guinevere, when a man has been through a hard thing like that there is a certain amount of mental trauma as well and it takes a while before…"

The queen shook her head impatiently at her husband's almost patronizing tone, "No. This is more than that." She hesitated. This would be a painful revelation. "I'm sorry, Arthur. Gaius and I should have told you at the time, it's just...well, we felt that it would endanger Merlin if you'd known… You would have possibly sent him away ..or worse. I'm sorry. I guess, we felt that Agravaine had such an influence on you at the time…"

Arthur wanted to feel stung at the lack of trust, but remembered vividly how he had even cut off his relationship with Guinevere at the man's recommendation. There had been no reason to trust Arthur. He hadn't been his own man. He couldn't dispute it.

He stood and approached his wife.

"What should you have told me?"

"Merlin wasn't himself. He was being controlled by Morgana to assassinate you and fortunately he failed miserably time after time. Knowing him as I do, I believe he was thwarting his own assassination attempts somehow. I even watched him knock himself out before he could run you through with your own sword. The enchantment was broken, but he remembers almost nothing from that time. Any open affection you showed him then would never…"

She stopped speaking. Arthur had buried his head in his hands.

"I wondered how he recovered so quickly from being so grievously wounded. Morgana must have patched him up enough to ensure that he would be able to kill me," he whispered. He rubbed his eyes. "So, he really has no idea about any of it?"

"No, Arthur."

At that moment there was a low but forceful kick at the door and Merlin entered carrying a load of wood for the fire. He looked dispirited, frozen and exhausted but brightened enough to throw a smile in his friends' direction.

"This should be enough until I can get out to the woodpiles again tomorrow." He tossed two more logs on the fire before stacking the rest in the bin.

"Merlin. Come here."

The manservant eyed the king warily. His eyes flicked to the queen who responded with a small smile of encouragement.

"What is it?"

"Will you ever simply obey your king, Merlin?" sighed Arthur heavily. "It has come to my attention that a gift was given but never received."

Now Merlin sighed heavily. He obviously just wanted to go home to bed.

"Whatever it is, it's not my fault."

"_Mer_lin."

"You haven't used me as a courier. I have no idea about any gifts. And if you think I'm going to do one more thing before heading for bed, you've got another.."

"Mer_lin!_ Shut up!"

Gunivere nailed her husband with a remonstrative look.

Merlin stood before him looking on in tired confusion. Arthur took a deep breath.

"What I'm trying to say is that Guinevere has cleared up a misconception I had. I was of the understanding that you… that is, that you knew that… that I.."

Merlin's eyebrows rose at the king's hemming and hawing. Finally, Arthur just gave up, strode forward and pulled his friend into an embrace.

Merlin stood stiff with shock as Gwen smiled at him fondly from behind Arthur.

"Arthur? You're scaring me. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, you idiot. It's just.. Guinevere just told me that you had no idea that I .. well, you're a big girl and you were constantly after hugs.. And she said that you might not realize how much I… well..."

Finally Merlin seemed to get the message and decided to save them both from further awkwardness. He gently returned the hug with a light pat on the back and pulled away but he couldn't hide his grin or the soft look in his eyes.

"Thanks, Arthur. We're good. But what was all that about a gift not being received?"

Arthur fidgeted. "Guinevere told me that you have no memory of the last time I.. hugged you."

"You hugged me? You're joking. When was this?"

"It was right after Morgana had gotten her hands on you" -Merlin almost blurted _which time? _\- "to make you into an assassin and Arthur searched until he found you," responded Gwen.

Beneath the king's sudden scrutiny, Merlin rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Uh, yeah. I don't remember much of that… But, really? You hugged me?"

Unable to abide anymore sensitive moments, Arthur turned and made his way to his desk as though to work again. "You needn't keep secrets like that from me anymore. You know that I trust you and you can always trust me." He sat down then looked up and met Merlin's eyes and thought he detected a certain wistfulness in them. "And now I trust that you're in your right mind with your awareness intact, at least in so far as it ever is, so listen well because I will never repeat this again." He hesitated but still met Merlin's eyes squarely. "It is important to me that you know that I consider you a good friend, Merlin."

Merlin's unwavering gaze softened again. "Likewise, Arthur."

Gwen touched Merlin lightly on the shoulder. "Hold still, Merlin." She unknotted his stained and fraying neckerchief and replaced it with a soft, warm one embroidered with a tiny bird in flight. "Happy Yule, Merlin." She quickly kissed his cheek.

He bent to wrap long arms around her and hugged her gently. "Happy Yule, Gwen. Thanks. It feels great."

Arthur cleared his throat. Merlin looked around mischievously, "Happy Yule, Arthur. Your present felt great too."

Arthur responded with a flat look that made Merlin laugh as he headed toward the door. The servant looked around again as he slipped out, "Good Night!" he beamed and was gone.

Arthur looked down at his desk again, quietly delighted. Although his friend had still appeared tired and a bit cold, the dispirited look had been replaced by a bright, cheerful sparkle in Merlin's eyes.

Clearly, his gift had been well received.


End file.
